Adoption in Media: Reinforcing or Healing Shame?

Adoption has long been a rich subject in movies, TV shows, and books. It’s a story element filled with emotional depth—identity struggles, lost and found families, and the journey of self-acceptance. However, the way adoption is portrayed in media can have a powerful impact on how adoptees see themselves. Some stories reinforce shame, making adoptees feel like they don’t belong or are inherently broken. Others offer healing, providing a sense of validation and belonging.

So, does media help or harm adoptees? The answer is complicated.

When Media Reinforces Shame

Unfortunately, many adoption narratives are built around tropes that can make adoptees feel alienated. Here are some common ways adoption is framed negatively:

1. The “Unwanted Child” Trope

Many stories depict adoptees as fundamentally unwanted, reinforcing the idea that adoption is a second-choice, last-resort situation. This can contribute to feelings of shame, as adoptees may internalize the message that their birth parents’ choice to place them for adoption makes them unlovable.

Example: Harry Potter – While an iconic story, Harry’s upbringing with the Dursleys reinforces a common adoption stereotype: the adopted child as an outsider, mistreated by their adoptive family. While his magical abilities eventually give him a sense of belonging, the early narrative plays into the idea that adoptees must prove their worth to find acceptance.

2. The “Evil or Troubled Adoptee” Stereotype

Another damaging portrayal is the idea that adoptees are inherently broken, dangerous, or emotionally unstable. While trauma can be part of the adoption experience, media often exaggerates this aspect to create dramatic tension.

Example: The Orphan – This horror movie plays into fears that adoptees might be dangerous or deceptive. While obviously fictional, it contributes to a harmful stereotype that adoptees are inherently different, even sinister.

3. The “Long-Lost Birth Family Fixes Everything” Trope

Many adoption stories focus on a dramatic reunion with birth parents as the ultimate resolution. While some adoptees do reconnect with their biological families, these portrayals can set unrealistic expectations and make adoptees feel like they are incomplete without a reunion.

Example: Annie – The classic orphan-to-riches story suggests that an adoptee’s real “happy ending” is finding their perfect (wealthy) family. While heartwarming, this narrative can make adoptees feel like they need to be “rescued” rather than embraced for who they are.

When Media Helps Heal Shame

Thankfully, there are also stories that offer a more nuanced, affirming portrayal of adoption. These narratives validate adoptee experiences and celebrate identity without reinforcing shame.

1. Showing Complex Adoption Journeys

Stories that explore adoption with nuance, showing both the struggles and strengths of being adopted, help adoptees feel seen.

Example: Kung Fu Panda – Po’s journey of learning about his adoption is beautifully handled. He acknowledges his pain and confusion but ultimately embraces his identity, realizing that both his adoptive and birth families are part of him.

2. Highlighting Healthy Adoptive Families

While conflict makes for engaging storytelling, it’s also important to see examples of loving, supportive adoptive families that aren’t rooted in dysfunction.

Example: This Is Us – Randall’s storyline shows the complexities of transracial adoption, identity struggles, and the love within his adoptive family. It acknowledges challenges without making adoption seem like a tragedy.

3. Emphasizing Self-Acceptance

The best adoption stories show adoptees coming to terms with their identities in a way that is empowering.

Example: Encanto (Bruno’s storyline) – While not explicitly about adoption, Bruno’s character resonates with adoptees who feel like they don’t belong in their family. His eventual acceptance reinforces the idea that self-worth isn’t dependent on others’ approval.

Final Thoughts: The Power of Representation

Media has a significant influence on how adoptees see themselves. When adoption is reduced to harmful stereotypes, it can reinforce feelings of shame and otherness. But when adoption is portrayed with depth and compassion, it can provide validation and healing.

As viewers and readers, we should seek out stories that honor the adoptee experience with authenticity. And as storytellers, we have a responsibility to move beyond outdated tropes and create narratives that reflect the real, diverse experiences of adoptees.

What adoption stories have resonated with you? Let’s talk in the comments!